Now five weeks post chemo and finally starting to feel like my body is coming back. As I have been cautioned after six months of very high dose chemo I need to be patient. My mind says run up the stairs to get the cellphone I left behind, and when I get to the landing my heart says you idiot now you have to lie down and catch your breath ! My beautiful boys were with me for my 60th birthday and it was wonderful. They left me with a much safer apartment as they fixed faulty electric outlets in this 1918 house and gave me lots of gifts including a magical IPAD. I'm so proud of what wonderful, resourceful young men they have become. I look forward to seeing them all again soon.
Having now been in the "system" for six months a few things about what happens in America when we get really sick. It was very difficult to get the benefits I am entitled to through my job or through government programs. If I didn't have help and advocacy from family and friends I might have given up in despair. In Hawaii universal health insurance for everyone has been in place since the 1970's so living here is quite a change. If you have no insurance here it's a nightmare from hell to get decent care and treatment. And when your coverage changes from regular to COBRA as mine has you can feel the pullback however subtle. I nearly lost my disability and health insurance when I was in the hospital for 40 days and urgent mail was sent to my home with no one aware it was there. By the time I received it I had 24 hours to fax the medical information to the carrier or I would be cut off. It was the only time I vomited during my treatment. I remember hanging over the sink at three am and being in such profound despair that I didn't care whether I lived or died at that moment. Getting signed up for COBRA after I had enrolled online required three phone calls and a near meltdown to assure I had coverage for the last round of chemo. And yeah that great insurance that you thought you had has a lot of loopholes for patient payments that you would never know about unless you got really sick. So people who want to repeal Health Care reform either have never been really sick or they just don't get it. In Hawaii all my Medical and prescriptions were covered 100 per cent. And guess what ? People in Hawaii never have to worry that their house or car or savings will be wiped out if they get sick. In Hawaii I could follow my passion and make a living as a full time artist. Now I must have a job with benefits stifling all entrepreneurial or creative desires for making a living. I'm lucky to really like the job I have but there are thousands of people who must work jobs that don't give them any pleasure because they have to have benefits. This is hurting our whole society and making the American dream a lost cause.
We all have to care about this issue. My oncologist shocked me with the current cancer statistics. In our generation 50% of women and one in three men will have cancer in their lifetimes.
As I continue in the healing process I will be awakening my creativity and making art every day and singing and dancing. In other words whatever happens I'm going to choose to be happy.
